Win Between the Records

WAKE UP!!!!

The message out of this year's NAB seems to have been: We need new blood. I totally agree. We have sanitized this media to the point where it is completely unrecognizable in its current form. The problem with this industry is that we have never stepped back and realized what we are. We are not the music business, we are the ADVERTISING INDUSTRY. I have seen many program directors and music directors bristle at the thought, but that is what we are. Our detachment form that paradigm has waked us to the edge of oblivion. We are staring into the crevasse, and many seem powerless to stop the inevitable leap.

Janet's nipplegate in 2004 was the moment on television changed everything. Even though that event happened on television, radio was the industry that was called to the stockade. I have never been clear as to how that was our fault, but because I want to say a lot on this subject we will just knowledge that happened. Formerly edgy morning shows were sanitized, the FCC fine was hiked up to dizzying numbers, and many shows were just fired all together. We decided as an industry that it was time to stay out of provocative content, it just wasn't worth it anymore. If the mainstream media noticed a show said something provocative, fire that show, and hang their carcass on a pike so that anyone who considered doing anything provocative would see it. We twisted our words and changed our strategies.

Now, the fruition of that plan has happened. There are actually stations out there who brag "we sound like iPods" and there are format outlets all over the country. Like the mall, we have totally taken the joy out of choosing what you want to listen to. We have "CHR model station" or "Rock model station" or "Oldies Package" and we even pipe in talent from other stations so that even sounds the same. I am not talking about music, which should always be studied. Regardless of what the employees in "High Fidelity" will tell you, what's popular is popular so a lot of people like it. So play it. I am talking about stations that have the EXACT SAME imaging as other stations. Jocks that go: "(positioning statement) (station name) (backsell) I'm Eric Thomas! You can (phone number) (transition to liner) (liner) (frontsell) (station lockout)." I have traveled the entire country for months and its the SAME THING OVER AND OVER.

Okay... it's been five years of making sure no one notices us! How'd we do? Yep!! Awful!!!

We are the same exact industry that Wall Street was salivating over because we had millions of "cash on hand", Remember that phrase? Companies were going to get rich off the fact that we make tons of money with very little overhead. They would have, too. But they forgot that this is an art form. Radio is not widgets that come rumbling down an assembly line. This is prose. We paint pictures with words, and that particular skill is not well developed when reading that Misty the morning co-host is going to be on the corner of down and out handing out $5 coupons if you buy $50 worth of product. We have to remember that in order to truly serve the fine people who advertise on a station it is vitally important to make sure the audience actually gives a shit about what you are doing on that station. Sorry, but "keep you head down and don't get noticed" is a horrible business model for the advertising industry.

Sorry folks, prose is an art form and it is dying in our stead. What ever happened to obsessing every day over the spoken word? What ever happened to stressing over every song transition to make sure there are no train wrecks and not just letting Selector do it? What ever happened to doing your own damn show prep and if you are too lazy and need "Prep Burger" than maybe you shouldn't do drive time? What ever happened to giant personalities that walked into the studio DESPERATELY wanting to say something today because they have to?

They are here. They are the new generation. So radio... what are you going to do about it?

A year has passed

   I stood in my apartment, and listened to silence. I wanted to scream, but I had no voice. I wanted to cry, but had no tears. This can't be real. This couldn't happen to me. I have never even considered this. The earth had shaken underneath me, and I had no ability to cope. The bile was boiling in my throat. My hands were shaking, my heart was thundering in my chest. I could not sit down and I couldn't stand up. I could not calm down. My life had changed forever, only a couple of hours ago. I was drowning in the bloody reality of that moment. Please someone, somewhere make this not true.

    I was awoken at 9AM. "They are firing you. I need you to come in."

    "What?!?", I yelped, half crying and half screaming, "This has been my whole life! 12 years! I have never done anything else!"

    My boss was quiet on the other end of the phone. This ejaculated plea would haunt him for a long time after. He was powerless to help me.

     I gathered my emotions... packed up my pride. I drove to the building that I called home for 12 years for the last time. As I drove, my stomach was very sick, cramping to hold back. If I didn't, I would have had an epic loss of control.

    The building had two options, employee parking in the back and visitors in the front. I parked in the front, because for the first time since 1997, I was no longer an employee.

    Standing in my apartment later, I was still unable to speak. It's like I missed my chance. I wanted to finally lose control, finally release that pressure. I couldn't. My stomach was still cramped and I could not get past the panic, trapped in a limbo where I was suffering every single second of the day.

    I got to the office, my boss tried to calm me. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I remember spitting out something like: "Just let me have some dignity." He just looked at me and said something like "None of us expected this."

    We walked into the GM's office, everyone quiet. It didn't get much louder in her office. Just a lot of people staring at the ground in front of them. Luckily for all of us, we walked out and didn't want to talk about it. I grabbed my firing letter and severance agreement. The only thing I wanted was to out of there.

    I was still standing in my apartment. Frozen. I was desperate to feel better in some way, but there was no relief available. I really wanted to bawl my eyes out, it seemed like it would have helped, but no tears would come. I swear to God, had a jumbo jet come crashing down on me at that exact moment I really would not have been surprised.

    I had gone to sleep as me, and woke up a completely different person. In one swift movement, my soul had crushed, scattering shards for miles. The pieces were too small and too far strewn to ever pick them up.

    I don't remember how long I stood there. Part of me still is. As I stood there, a part of me died. I had loved my life, loved my job. I smiled wide and felt warmed by the people I saw every day. As I stood there, absorbing the silence, that happy part of me began to seize. I could feel it gasping for air. All I thought as I stood there is "Please. Please. Someone somewhere make this not true."

    It's been a year. I have had my ups and downs, some much worse than that day. through all of it the part that stands out the most is when I came home to silence. The morning was violent, at a speed that you can't see. It was when I got home and stood in silence that the wave came over me.

    So why did I open this issue again? Why expose my bare skin, display my wounds and run my fingers across to see how much it still hurts? Not really sure. I think about standing there almost every day. I was paralyzed for what seemed like endless oceans of time. I only remember bits and pieces of what transpired in the following... months. I don't remember Christmas, or any other holiday. I remember pictures, like looking at a slide show of someone's life. I also don't remember when I came to. I can confirm it was somewhere around January... I think.

    A little over a week ago, I started to thaw. The scab started to fall off. I have been aware of my surroundings the whole time, yes. But a part of me that was very much asleep, stirred and kicked. I felt the ability to think clearer, not constantly fogged by the heat of distraction.

    I am not complete yet. Not by a mile. I was buried a year ago, and I laid alone in a very dark place unable to move and any movement would only further seal my fate. So I started digging. Clawing my way out of this pit. I have thrashed wildly, but the only gasps attempted filled my lungs with mud. After a year, there is some progress. I am not scared as much as I was. I have a long way to go, still miles to dig. The ghosts of anxiety still pay me a visit now and again. Recently, there has been a beam of hope. I see light poking me through the dirt I thought was my grave.

And hope is the only thing I was desperate for.

Apple FM!! So what?

I have been mystified by the celebration surrounding this news story. "Steve Jobs put an FM radio in the new iPod!!!!!!!!" Well Merry Christmas, war is over. I understand that the heads of Citadel, CBS, and Emmis are all convening in a locker room, wildly shaking bottles of champagne and crying, while they hold their extended index fingers over their "Steve Jobs approves" hats. Elsewhere people are hugging, shaking hands, and in Times Square, a sailor just kissed a nurse.

    I hate to rain on the parade, but who cares? I guess I missed the memo, but was the issue a lack of available radios? What does this solve exactly? So we think that the TSL problem or the relative apathy about radio is solved now. I hate to burst your bubble but it doesn't help at all. Radio continues its self loathing routine, and it still isn't helping.

    When Apple released the latest iPhone earlier this year, their was a rumor of an FM radio being installed. When that didn't happen, out came the critics. People who just want to take shots at the industry, like Del Colliano (who apparently has a dump truck somewhere full of "staring uncomfortably at the lens" pictures), came whooping out of their houses. It was confirmation of everything they have been saying, because the genius said it too. King Jobs had spoken, and now we all had to hang our heads because we were dumb enough to work in an industry that He had deemed obsolete. This was stupid, too. Let's not forget Jobs was behind AppleTV, and the iMacs that looked like they had fashioned a screen to a desk with a wire hanger. Now, Apple is releasing models of iPods with radios, and in doing so, saved the industry. The stories from radio trades became a ticker tape parade, with guys that own companies riding in the back of a convertible, pulling their shirts off and spinning them like the proverbial helicopter.

    The iPod has become this buzzword in the industry, and I for one have never understood it. I have sat in very plush rooms with men in very smart suits, and heard fear when the word is brought up. Its usually brought up with a sense of defeatism, and I am willing to bet money that most radio management who fears the iPod also doesn't own one. Someone just says, "People are buying iPods!", and the boardroom will murmur for a while in recognition that we are dinosaurs rumbling toward a tar pit. Because its never brought up in a discussion about the future of radio. Its always brought up in this light where we need to make as much money as possible, because this buzzword is putting us out of business soon, and we can't compete. Its the self loathing again. The radio has never understood the iPod, its limitations and why we should have never been worried about it.

    When the first generation iPod came out, I was a promotion director at a radio station. A record company had sent both the PD and the MD iPods as gifts. The record rep might as well have given them rocks to bash their own heads with, and the boxes collected dust for a week before I said I wanted it. I loved it immediately. It was everything you ever wanted a walkman to be. It was easy, you could hold thousands of songs in it, and it was compact (I thought so at the time, looking back that iPod was the size of a station wagon compared to current models). But it never occurred to me that anyone would view it as a replacement to radio. For one, its just songs one after the other back to back. If you want more, you must buy them or illegally download them. The illegal download is ALWAYS a lot harder than it sounds, btw. you always get shoddy versions with huge problems in the file. No matter if your library 3000 songs, you are going to get sick of listening to the same ones.

    Our industry has problems, and none of them are solved by this. Radio stations are not worth listening to anymore because for some reason we have decided to start imitating iPods. iPods were NEVER a threat to the industry, just like CD changers and Internet streams out there.  The thing that we never consider is that we actually know how to present this stuff!! For years we built a formula of brand building, where listeners got excited and were actually entertained by what was being done on the air. There were funny pieces of production, DJs that sometime annoyed us but always entertained us. There were guys and girls that knew how to make us laugh, cry and destroy our disco records in the middle of a baseball stadium. So what have we done? We have decided to imitate the worst part of iPods, their repetitive, mechanical song switching. Don't you realize that Apple has been trying to solve that problem? The "Genius" list is basically Apple's attempt to make a music director. They are trying to improve it now, because the basic problem remains. Its still the mechanical, dry clicking between the songs. You listen to a song, and then you are bored. Either clicking through hundreds of songs that you have heard a million times or scrolling through more that you have heard hundreds of times.

    iPods will always be around, always. Devices that play sound are always going to exist. The phonograph predates the radio (barely). But iPod users will put them down, and they are going to turn on the radio. Have we stopped and asked ourselves what they are going to hear when they turn on? We have stripped radio of all its fun. Most jocks are micro-managed, afraid of saying anything interesting because saying something interesting could lead to the latest firing. The problem with saying something interesting is that someone somewhere will disagree with it. Radio has completely lost is sense of fun, and that's why we have the TSL problem. We have slashed air staffs and turned who remains into robots. There is no sense of danger listening to the radio any more. You never get the impression that something truly memorable is about to happen, and you might be part of it. It seems like just about everybody is just going through the motions. What ever happened to the mantra: "You win between the records." That worked every time.

    Perhaps PPMs aren't the problem. They are the proof of what the problem is.

    So here come the iPods with radios. We should all be excited. We have invited everybody to our pool party, and we shall see what happens. We have filled our pool with water, and arranged some lawn chairs. We have sent out invitations. On the invitations, we have alerted possible guests that they must remain in street clothes for the duration of the party, and their will be no drinking, food or flirtatious conversation among guests. Sure hope someone comes.

10 days away from a year

    I was fired for the first time in my entire life on September 16, 2008.

     In the year since, I've been fired again, denied unemployment for 6 months, moved twice, and was denied unemployment again. I lost my friends, my pride, my home, my sense of comfort, and my girlfriend of almost a year posted pictures of herself making out with her new boyfriend on my Facebook less than 2 weeks after she dumped me.

    it's been a rotten year.

    But just like anything else that's difficult, it comes with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. After all of this, I made it.

    I understand that the calendar page is in and of itself meaningless. I recognize that there isn't an actual decider here tapping his watch to remind me that I still have ten days left and don't count your chickens. I concede that just because I awaken on September 17, it doesn't mean that I won't find some other tragedy waiting down the hall.

     But making it through the actual period of time has a lot of meaning. When I got fired, I felt trapped. I was squeezed into a small box, taking giant panic breaths. Each inhalation making the ail more stake and bereft of oxygen. I was drowning in a void, try to twist a few more drops of oxygen out stale air. Abandoned and forgotten, in an area where the sunlight find you.

     I certainly don't feel like that anymore. Hooray progress.

    Why I don't is complicated. It's mostly because I now feel I have a chance, much more than before. I am working again, and I am working at lot, which is it's own panacea. Some people might groan at the idea of working 12 hours. I love it. I sat on my knees in my apartment, praying for rewarding work. Now that I have it you might say I have an unquenchable thirst.

    I guess this will be 10 days of reflection. I am going to post stuff on all of my websites for the next 10 days. Indulgent? A bit. But it has been helping. I wrote a thing that I will post here on that day, it was painful to write but blessedly cathartic.

Gen X Radio

Well I have only been suggesting this for a decade.

You have a shit ton of people out there who watched MTV for HOURS in the 90s, and they like all different kinds of music. Because radio has always catered to people who came of age in the 70s, we as an industry have completely ignored all the people who grew up in that era.

Music is not nearly (and hasn't been for decades now), as segregated. It has been in the past, but iTunes will cross promote, people flip around on satellite radio (for a month until they decide they don't want it any more or leave it on the comedy channels.).  

Of course, sorry, you still only win between the records.